Every living creature wants to be happy. Whether it is money, power or sex, you get into it for the sake of happiness. Some people even enjoy misery because it gives them happiness!
To be happy, you seek something. But despite getting it, you are not happy. A school-going boy thinks that if he goes to college, he will be more independent, free and, therefore, happy. If you ask a college-going boy whether he is happy, he feels that if he gets a job, he will be happy. Talk to somebody who is settled in his job or business, and you will find that he is waiting to get a perfect soul mate to be happy. He gets a soul mate, but he now wants a kid to be happy. Ask those who have children if they are happy. And they say: how can they relax until the children have grown up and have had a good education and are on their own? Ask those who are retired and done with all their responsibilities if they are happy? They long for the days when they were younger.
All of one’s life is spent in preparing to be happy someday in the future. It’s like making a bed all night, but having no time to sleep. How many minutes, hours and days have you spent your life being happy from within? Those are the only moments you have really lived life. Those were perhaps the days when you were a small kid, completely blissful and happy or a few moments when you were surfing, swimming or sailing or on a mountain top, living in the present and enjoying it.
There are two ways of looking at life. One is thinking: “I’ll be happy after achieving a certain objective.” The second is saying: “I am happy come what may!” Which one do you want to live?
Life is 80% joy and 20% misery. But you hold on to the 20% and make it 200%! It is not a conscious act, it just happens. Living in the moment with joy, alertness, awareness and compassion is enlightenment. Being like a child is enlightenment. It is being free from within, feeling at home with everybody, without barriers.
Don’t judge and don’t worry about what others think of you. Whatever they think, it is not permanent. Your own opinion about things and people keeps changing all the time. So why worry about what others think about you. Worrying takes a toll on the body, mind, intellect and alertness. It is like an obstruction that takes you far away from yourself. It brings fear and fear is nothing but lack of love. It is an intense sense of isolation.
This can be handled by relaxing and doing some breathing exercises. Then you will realise that, you are loved, you are a part of everybody and you are a part of the whole universe.” This will liberate you and the mind will take a complete shift. You will then find so much harmony around.
To find harmony, it is not as if you have to physically seek it by sitting somewhere for years and practise. Whenever you are in love, your mind is in the present, you feel joyous. At some level, to some degree, everybody is meditating without being aware of it. There are moments when your body, mind and breath are all in harmony. That’s when you achieve yoga. The art of living lies in the present moment.
A group of victimised mothers-in-law from Bangalore have started their own helpline, and plan to approach TV producers and film-makers to get them to re-work the ‘unfair’ portrayal of the saas figure in popular culture
Mumbai: For years they’ve been haunting television and movie screens, making life miserable for their daughters-in-law — but now a group of real mothers-in-law have decided they’ve had enough of this lopsided depiction. And it might just trigger a movement. The idea took root over a cup of chai on an ordinary Bengaluru afternoon when a group of friends decided to do something about the one common thing they were all subject to — daughter-in-law abuse!
For one of the co-founders of the group, Meera Thuliya, it was an idea whose time had come. “We are all victims and often shared our problems with each other. Then one day we just decided to do something about it.” That led to the formation of AIMPF (All India Mother-in-law Protection Forum) a week ago and it is already getting up to 30 calls a day on its helpline. “We also get international calls from as far away as Russia and London,” she adds.
Meera says that while brides are protected by the strict anti-dowry laws and file cases, the in-laws have no recourse. “Blame the saas-bahu serials that have always shown the mother-in-laws as a vamp. Why don’t these serials show the other side of the coin? Do you know that research by the National Family Health Survey (NFHS) shows that women face the most violence from their own mothers. The thing is, when they get married they simply vent their frustration on their in-laws,” she says.
Co-founder of AIMPF Tahira Shiggaon adds that they plan to take the Forum to different cities as well. “We also plan to approach TV producers and film-makers and ask them to rectify the image of the mother-in-law.”
Actor Sudha Chandran who has been playing an evil saas for the past eight years says she’d welcome the change. “It would be great,” she exclaims. “I’ve been so bad for so long now, I’d like to be a good saas.” Sudha agrees that TV, especially, has created a sympathy vote for the daughter-in-law. “She’s someone who has to fight evil and the very word mother-in-law has come to represent that evil,” she states.
Actor Apara Mehta who has played a mother-in-law with different shades opines that women today would not be affected by a serial or film. “They’re a different lot; they’re working girls who do not want to make many adjustments. Often, they do not want to live in joint families. Why blame serials?” she asks. Would she continue to play the wicked mother-in-law? “Sure,” she enthuses. “It’s just a role and I enjoy it.”
Sums up yesteryear vamp Bindu, “The mother-in-law is always shown as a bad person and I feel it affects the minds of people. The amount of domestic violence shown on screen — in all forms — must be cut down.”
In his latest book, The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins offered Alternative Ten Commandments. I enjoyed the list so much I wanted to share it here. Whoever wrote it, I think it is a great list of principles.
Do not do to others what you would not want them to do to you
In all things, strive to cause no harm
Treat your fellow human beings, your fellow living things, and the world in general with love, honesty, faithfulness and respect.
Do not overlook evil or shrink from administering justice, but always be ready to forgive wrongdoing freely admitted and honestly regretted.
Live life with a sense of joy and wonder
Always seek to be learning something new
Test all things; always check your ideas against the facts, and be ready to discard even a cherished belief if it does not conform to them.
Never seek to censor or cut yourself off from dissent; always respect the right of others to disagree with you.
Form independent opinions on the basis of your own reason and experience; do not allow yourself to be led blindly by others.
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Posted on: September 13th, 2009
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